Sunday 11 July 2010

VangVieng! We must drink then we must float!

THIS for the uninitiated, is tubing in VangVieng in Laos. Thousands of beautiful people flock together to this sleepy village in central laos to float down a river in a rubber ring, fling themselves off one of the many bars along the side, and drink whiskey from a bucket.

When Kem and I arrived in Laos, we didn't really know what to expect, we thought it would be a good idea to go swimming, and so we packed our things, and got a tuktuk driver to take us to a place we could swim. When we arrived, he had dropped us off at bars 1, 2 and 3. Each was swarming with tanned, excitable backpackers and blasting music out at a ridiculous volume. It's not often that Kemi and I are wearing the most clothes in a crowd, but we were by far that day! Slightly cowed by the prospect of being the only sober people in the group, we retreated back to our hotel, resolved that tomorrow, we would do it right.

We explored the town, VangVieng is a student's paradise, there are variously bed bars showing constant repeats of family guy or friends, and so much lovely food for so cheap! 10,000 kip (about 80p) will get you the most wonderful chicken and mayonnaise baguette from a street vendor, i could have lived on them! And we continued our habit of drinking fruit smoothies whenever we could - we are definitely getting our five a day! That night we went to the only irish bar in laos, and met a girl called Nadge (nad-ja) who had been travelling alone, and was from switzerland, we stuck with her for the next day or so. We went to Q-Bar, and danced the night away - we were incredibly excited when, after persistent efforts, we finally persuaded the dj to play DUBSTEP! Kemi and i went a little bit insane in the sweat-drenched crowd, and we sloped out at about 2.30 and went to bed.

The next day was our first genuine experience at tubing. We found our way to the tube hire place - 50,000 kip for hire, 60,000 deposit, and got our tuktuk to the first sleepy corner. As we lay in the lazy river, staggeringly beautiful cliffs surrounding us, we thought it wasn't too hectic... then we turned the first corner and found ourselves back at bars 1,2 and 3. At bar one, everyone tends to sit on the edge of the bar, feet dangling above the water, watching the people on the monkey swings (kind of like a trapeze, only you have to choose to let go and slam into the water) and cheering or booing appropriately. We had our first cocktail and drifted onwards. It's really hard to explain just how wonderful tubing is, you drift past bars and Lao people throw out bottles of sprite on strings to drag you in, you get a free scorpion shot at every bar - but a scorpion shot is an unnamed liqueur in which a massive scorpion or snake has been pickled, so most people tend to refuse those. The music is wonderful, the people are wonderful, you chat to whoever you're drifting near or who's at the bar you're in, and you can talk for hours only realising that you haven't even learned their names as they drift out of sight.

There was one particular bar with a massive slide that curved upwards so when you reached the end, you were propelled into the air at an alarming speed. The american couple we were with (G and Laura) were up for anything, so they went, then Kemi and Nadge went, but... my least favourite things in the world are heights and deep water, and this was a  terrifying combination of the two... I resisted going for a while, but eventually kemi persuaded me. It was horrible. I got to the top and almost backed out, but then whizzed down and the feeling of freefalling in mid air is sheer heartstopping terror, then you're plunged into murky green water and all you can hear is your heartbeat racing. I may be exaggerating somewhat, there were children going on it again and again and again, but it was just so scary for me.

Towards the end, the bars stop and there's 40 minutes of calm, sleepy river. It was dusk when we reached this, and absolutely stunning. The five of us (kem, nadge, G and laura) bumped into a large group of people, and we all linked up to make a line of about 15. They were mostly english (like most of laos.. english and irish... in fact, almost everyone was irish..) and at the end, a hoarde of lao children dragged us in to the shore, but took half of us one way, and half the other. The half that were taken away from us were screaming and screaming, which was hilarious because the water was only calf deep at that point, and they were 6 24 year olds being kidnapped by two 8 year olds. After that we went to Q-Bar, and again, danced ridiculous amounts.

The next day, we attempted to find plastic rings, rather than rubber ones, on the 'black market' - they're essentially 'forbidden' by the tourist office of vangvieng so they can profit from the extortionate rates on the rubber rings. We failed significantly, clearly we didn't look reliable enough. We had determined that today we would tube 'properly.' By properly, we mean, fairly totalled. However, we were cautious about how much we drank, and chose to share a bucket at each bar we stopped at. We had discovered the previous two days that what Lao people call red bull, is actually a coffee flavoured syrup, which explained why our vodka red bulls always tasted like weak nescafe. Therefore, we had decided to stick to whiskey. Our resolve did not waver when at the first bar, we found out that a whiskey bucket contained 4/5s whiskey, and 1/5 ice and lemonade. In retrospect, perhaps it should have. Nonetheless, it gave me the courage to try an actual monkey swing, and i flung myself with cautious abandon from a platform into midair, then the water. We spent most of the river with a group of guys we had met the previous two nights, spenser, lloyd, dan, nick etc, and bumped into the Godalming guys along the way. By the time we reached the bar-less stretch of water, it was pretty dark, and the time spent in reflection alone on my tube led me to the conclusion that actually, i was far too drunk to be in a river, but there was no escape! So i drifted onwards, praying for the end to come.

My memories from hereon are filled in mostly by kemi, apparently, we climbed up through some reeds, returned our tubes and then returned home. This was at 8pm, and I just fell asleep the second i got in. I woke up at 2, determined that I had slashed open my toe on a rock somewhere, but apparently i had been impervious to pain, and that I was incredibly hungry, so Kemi went and got me a baguette while I tended to my wounds (sorry mum for mocking the antiseptic-wound wash. it's actually been really useful). Then, due to an inability to sleep more than 6 hours a night, I stayed up and read most of the night. Party. Animal. Thus, my last in VangVieng was wasted, and I have resolved not to drink to such an extent for the rest of the trip. I hope.

To do: Bus trip to Chiang Mai, Night Market, Trekking, football final!

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